{Good Men}

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*Warning: sappiness coming your way*

A few nights ago, I came home from work really late and Joe was already asleep. I (noisily) got ready for bed, hoped into bed, messed around with my phone for a while (probably shining the light on him a million times), changed positions over and over again to get comfortable, pulled some of the covers away from him so I could have more, and then finally was comfy and ready to go asleep. After ALL that, Joe (now semi awake) reached over, grabbed my hand and said “Goodnight, I love you” and went back to sleep.

I laid there holding his hand and wondering what my response would have been in his situation. I probably would have said something rude like “geez, could you be any louder?!” or maybe I would have grumpily turned away from him when he got into bed (I’ve been known to be a little evil when half asleep).

But even half-conscious, he was sweet to me and made me feel loved. It made me think about how lucky I am to have married a “good man.”

It seems that the world portrays and ENCOURAGES men these days to be

vulgar

crude

rude

hateful

angry

temperamental

sex-driven

self centered

cocky

lazy

irresponsible

non-commital

disrespectful

and so on….

I mean isn’t that true?! Think of reality shows or celebrities… Men are portrayed to be selfish, disrespectful people who don’t want to work hard, can’t control their tempers or desires, and often aren’t really blamed for anything because their just being “men” and at some point everyone just accepts that and thinks that’s the only way it can ever be.

What’s up with that?!

When I look at the men in my life- my husband, father, brother, in laws, etc… I see men who are so totally opposite from that and who are working HARD to BE opposite from that. Sure they aren’t perfect. If Joe was perfect, life would be real rough for me… I would be the only one apologizing and messing up and boo that would not be cool.

BUT these are men who are trying to be better people and oh gosh I am so grateful to have these types of men in my life and to know that they exist.

One of the saddest attitudes about men nowadays is that they aren’t really needed in families.

Oh gosh that hurts my heart. I know that there are many situations where men have chosen not to be involved in their family and the same could be said for some women. But because of the mistakes of so many people, we’ve started assuming that men aren’t NEEDED in a family.

Although life situations make it tricky sometimes, I believe that it is a divine calling from God to be a husband and father, just as it is to be a wife and mother. In a talked called “We’ll Ascend Together” by Linda K. Burton, she discusses the roles of men and women within the family and talks about how Satan is promoting the lie that fathers are no longer necessary in a family. She says, “I plead with you not to listen to Satan’s lies! He has forfeited that sacred privilege of ever becoming a husband or father. Because he is jealous of those who have the sacred roles he will never fill, he is intent on making ‘all men … miserable like unto himself!”

I love that thought! Satan wants to destroy the family in any way that He can because He wants us to be miserable!

I hope that I can teach my future son that he should never be ashamed to be an honest, hardworking, respectful, and spiritual man. Those type of men are powerful. They influence people for the better. They lift up instead of tear down. They make their children and wives feel loved and valued. I am SO grateful for those type of men.

I am eternally grateful to be sealed in the temple to that type of man. I also know that it takes work for him to stay that way, as it does for me. I am a LONG way from being the person that I want to be and Joe would probably say the same thing about himself, but as long as we keep trying and repenting and changing, Christ will help us and make it possible for us to become like Him. I am so grateful to know that and to know that Christ’s way is the way that I will be the happiest in life. It won’t always be the easiest, but He will show me the path that will make me the happiest.

One last tangent- Before I was married I would stress myself out worrying about if I would every find someone that valued the same things I did, that loved me for exactly who I was, that would let me be a mom and that you know would be handsome and fun and etc….. I remember one day when I was driving through Logan canyon to get to Pickleville (if you’re like “what the h is Pickleville?” its a theater I performed at in Bear Lake) and I was just stressing myself out wondering if I would ever find someone that was everything that I wanted and wondering if that person even existed…. well after a half hour of worrying and thinking and stressing I had the thought “stop worrying about finding the right person and work on becoming the right person.” Let me explain- I needed to stop worrying about who I was going to find, when and how, and start thinking about who I was becoming… did I have all the qualities that I wanted in someone else? I couldn’t expect it out of someone else if I didn’t expect it out of myself?!

So my focus shifted and I started controlling what I could control- ME! I could control who I was becoming and then hope and pray that God would help me find someone who would be the right fit for me.

HOLY MOLY did He ever!! I realized through this experience (and many others) that the things that are important to us are important to God! If we will continue to put the Lord first and do His will, He WILL bless us… it will be in His own time, but it will happen.

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2 thoughts on “{Good Men}

  1. Kathy Ortiz

    MOMMA? I love you! Today’s sermon at Mass was about LIVIING God’s word outwardly. On the way home, I had to let my husband and my 15 year old (how did he get so old?) that my prayer EVERY SINGLE DAY for them is that they walk through their day being outward signs of God’s love for us. There are so many things we can wish for our children…good grades, success, popularity, wealth…but I choose MY prayer over any of those for my growing man. I wish for people to see that he is respectful, kind, considerate, helpful, and loving before any of the other things in life. If you live God’s will for your life…good things will come. LOVE YOU!

    Like

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